That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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