they need to just BURY HIM!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize