I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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