I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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