i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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