hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
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