The maid of honor just puked.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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