The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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