WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize