last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize