I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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