can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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