What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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