It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
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I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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