i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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