i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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