also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
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