but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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