I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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