Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize