do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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