yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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