I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
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WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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