nut hugger
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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