your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Non-Jews are for practice
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize