I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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