Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize