Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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