so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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