Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she smelled like a LAN party
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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