I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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