Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
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Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
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I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize