Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
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I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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