it hurts more in the daytime
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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