I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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