Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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