Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't think brook has ever known best
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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