Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
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I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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