I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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