Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize