So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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