I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize