I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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