i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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