do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize