My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Randomize