I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize