I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
as a side note pls kill me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize