Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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