Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize